Better Than Me
by one of the better ones
Summary: Maybe breaking up wasn't such a good idea. After all, she does love him. No, he's too good for her. Rathan.
1. Better Than Me

**I think you can do much better than me**

**After all the lies that I made you believe**

**Guilt kicks in then I start to see**

**The edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be**

Rachel walked back into her room for the first time since she and Nathan were officially over. She looked around, and she almost cried. This room, where so much had happened between them, so much had been shared.

She had, of course, been the one to end it. The first time she had told him she loved him there was a fight and a break-up. Then they got back together about three days later. She had said that she could bury her feelings, but she couldn't. Or at least not for long. She had fallen for him again, and it was scaring her. She wasn't good enough for him, and she didn't want him falling in love with her. Because she knew that if they stayed like that he would fall in love too.

**I told myself I won't miss you**

**But I remember **

**What it feels like beside you**

She had promised herself that this time it would be different. This time she was going to bury her feelings. She couldn't though. All these memories kept flooding back. The nights they spent together, the early mornings before anyone else in the house woke up.

"_Nathan, what are you doing?!" she giggled. They had been in his room on his bed feeling each other up when he had gotten up and walked across the room. He opened a drawer across the room and pulled out candles. "Nathan." She said to him in awe, looking at how romantic he was being. "Come here." she called and pulled him back on top of her. _

**I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes**

**And I think you should know this**

**You deserve much better than me**

"_Mmmm." She heard Nathan moan into the back of her head, while playing with her hair. "You smell so good today." He had smiled at her. "Use all your senses today Nathan. Smell me, see, me, hear me, touch me, taste me." She teased him. She teased him like this everyday. Things had even gotten so out of hand once that they had sex in the boiler room at school._

_Nathan didn't need to hear that twice. He had been sitting behind her on the bed. He moved quickly to her front and kissed her hard. He pushed her so she was laying down in front of him. He heard her giggling, like she always did before they did something sexual. He never would have thought she was as experienced as she was. Not with the way that she always giggled._

_He quickly pulled off her shirt, and pulled off his own. He had her pinned to the bed. She liked it rough, and he was happy to give it to her that way. He unbuttoned her pants and saw that her wetness had soaked through her panties. Well, that's what happens whenever they spend the whole day together. "You're so wet Rach." He said, slowly pulling her panties down._

_He went up and kissed her beautiful neck, working his way down her abdomen. "You said you want me to touch you babe?" he asked, slowly inserting his finger into her wet, hot core. He was answered by a moan. He started going faster, working with two fingers, then three. He slid down and kissed his inner thigh, feeling her shiver, and about to cum. "Not yet. You told me to taste you." He whispered to her. He removed his fingers and inserted his tongue, tasting her. He worked on her for about a minute before he felt her orgasm. He tasted her all, enjoying this experience. He had no idea how he got a girl like this._

**While looking through your old box of notes**

**I found those pictures I took that you were looking for**

**If there's one memory I don't wanna lose **

**That time at the mall**

**You and me in the dressing room**

He had been talking to her several days before the break-up about certain things that were there. He said that there were pictures from the formal there, pictures that his parents wanted to see. There were pictures of him and the team, then just pictures of the two of them. She took out an empty box, and started to pack them. She put in the pictures. She tossed in some of his clothes that were still there. His iPod was sitting on the counter. She picked that up and tossed it into the box too. Under the iPod there was another picture. A picture of Rachel and Nathan at the mall.

"_And what do you think of this?" Rachel asked Nathan, holding up some sexy lingerie inside the store. "What happened to not having sex every hour? Because, at this rate, its not gonna work." He responded, his eyes full of lust. "I don't think I can wait that long. I'm gonna go try this on." She said with a suggestive smirk, walking into the dressing room._

_Nathan followed her, practically drooling. As soon as she stepped into the empty changing quarters Nathan followed her in, locking the door behind him. He didn't even bother to wait until she tried on the lingerie. He practically attacked her, his lips meeting her with such force that she got pushed backward. He pinned her to the wall, kissing her neck. "Nathan." She moaned. He took that as his cue and pulled off her camisole. She wasn't wearing a bra, which turned him on even more. She reached out and pulled off his shirt, then her hands made their way to the button of his pants. Nathan helped her get them off of him, then his hands made their way to her mini-skirt. He pulled it down, noticing that she was panty-less. At the notice of that Nathan quickly pulled off his boxers._

"_Nathaaaaaaan," Rachel moaned as he entered her. It felt so right. There was so much intensity. It was all so public. It made this so much more fun. He was thrusting into her so powerfully, that she was getting a little sore. But it felt so good. "Almost…there…OH NATHAN!" She called as she reached her climax. Hearing her call his name like that pushed him over the edge. He exploded inside her, then almost collapsed against the wall. "Wow Rach." He said quietly to her. "C'mon." she said quietly to him, starting to get dressed. "Someone must have heard us. We should probably go." They got dressed and left the dressing room. No one seemed to notice. About an hour later they went at it again, having sex in the middle of the abandoned food court._

**I told myself I won't miss you**

**But I remember **

**What it feels like beside you**

She looked at the box she had packed. All of his things were packed in it now. "Nathan!" she cried. She fell into a heap on the floor. "Nathan!" She cried again. She could feel the tears flowing down her face. She needed him beside her. He was the love of her life, and she couldn't imagine living without him. But that's what she had to do. She had to cut him out completely. She knew how he would always get to her, those feelings would never go away. That was why he had to be out of her life.

**I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes**

**And I think you should know this**

**You deserve much better than me**

She could hear a noise downstairs, like the front door opening. Great, just great. Here comes Nathan. This was going to kill her. "Hey." He called to her from the doorway. She looked up and Nathan could tell that she had been crying. He could tell by her bloodshot eyes, her running eyeliner, her tear stains on her face. "Rach, baby, what's wrong?" he asked her. He was too good to her. She had dumped him. Harshly, yelling about how she never wanted to see him again. Now he was here, making sure she was ok. He was too good for her.

**The bed I'm laying in is getting colder**

**Wish you never would have said it's over **

**And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older**

**'Cause we never really had our closure.**

**This can't be the end**

**End**

"Get out!" Rachel yelled at him. She pulled herself up onto her bed. Her bed, where they had made love so many times. It was so strange, thinking that they would never again wake up next to each other. She had always cherished those early mornings. "Get out!" she repeated. "I love you Rachel." He said, then walked out the door, down the hall, down the stairs, and outside the door. "Damnit!" She yelled to herself, curling into a little ball. What would happen with them? He loved her, and she loved him. But they couldn't be together. Could they?

**I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes**

**And I think you should know this**

**You deserve much better than me**

"I love you too." She whispered to a picture of him. She realized that she didn't tell him to take his box. Well, maybe… She got up and walked to the box. She looked at all of his things inside it. Rachel diverted her eyes from the box, but picked it up and brought it to her closet. She covered it with some clothes then closed the closet doors. Just because they couldn't be together didn't mean she couldn't miss him.

**I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes**

**And I think you should know this**

**You deserve much better than me**

Rachel pulled out her cell phone. She scrolled through the recent calls. Nathan. With one press of a button she deleted him from her cell phone. She kept scrolling through. Soon she reached Mouth's entry. She pressed the call button and put the phone to her ear. "Hey Mouth, its Rachel. Can you come over? I need a friend." She was answered with a "Sure." And fifteen minutes later there was a knock on her bedroom door.

**(And I think you should know this)**

**You deserve much better than me**

**(And I think you should know this)**

**You deserve much better than me**

**(And I think you should know this)**

**You deserve much better than me**

**(And I think you should know this)**

"He told me he loved me." Rachel cried to Mouth. "He can't love me." Mouth had known everything that was going on. She told him. She told him everything. He was the one guy who she could talk to about anything, including Nathan. "Rachel, I don't get it. Did you still break up with him?" Mouth asked her quietly, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. She nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah I did." Mouth was wondering why she had broken up with him. "But, isn't that what you wanted? Didn't you break up with him because you were afraid he didn't love you?" Rachel thought that she had explained this to him already. "No, I didn't want him to fall in love with me. He deserves better than me. He deserves much better than me."


	2. Think Twice

Thank you Sarah11650 for reviewing!

**When all is said and done**

**And dead does he love you**

**The way that I do?**

Nathan saw them. She said that he was just her friend, but that kid had an agenda. Nathan kept warning her that the kid wanted her. Who didn't? She was Rachel Gatina after all. No! She had put her hand on Mouth's arm, laughing at something he had said. Seeing this, Nathan quickly downed another shot of tequila. He loved Rachel. Why didn't she understand that? That kid Mouth just wanted to get laid. He didn't love her. Not the way Nathan did.

**Breathing in lightning**

**Tonight's for fighting**

**I feel the hurt so physical**

Were they playing footsie? That damn kid was gonna get it. Nathan was going to kick his ass. Mouth had started flirting with Rachel while she was still with Nathan. He would never forget it.

_Rachel was staying at Nathan's house. She had decided to spend an entire week there, no going home for anything. It was going to be like they were living together. If all went good, she was considering moving in with him. But the second day of the week, he got sick. That hadn't been enough to keep Rachel away. She stayed there, taking care of him. She had called Karen's Café to order soup, because there was none in the house. She had almost begged Karen to get someone to deliver it. It wasn't something that they normally did, and she wasn't leaving Nathan's side. When she explained the situation Karen sent Mouth to bring it. When Mouth finally came, Rachel left sick Nathan in bed so she could get the door. He would have stayed, however hi stomach had other plans. On his way back to his room he noticed them. He was standing in the hall, just watching them. Mouth was flirting with Rachel, in her boyfriend's house! Rachel flirting he understood. She flirted with everyone, not even meaning to. It didn't mean she had feelings for them, it just meant she was talking. But Mouth. That kind of kid was trouble. He just wanted to screw. He'd screw anyone to lose his reputation of a virgin._

He downed another shot. The idea of the two of them together…it killed him. Like how he would kill Mouth. It was probably his fifth shot, not to mention the three beers he had already had.

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around I'll let you feel the burn**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around come around no more**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around I'll let you feel the burn**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around no more**

Nathan was in a drunken rage. How could she just act like that with him? Didn't she still love Nathan? He sure as hell loved her. He got up and started to make his way over to them. They were flirting and laughing until Rachel noticed him.

"Nate?" She asked him quietly. She had no idea he was here. She had come to get her mind off him, but he showed up. She noticed that he had a weird look on his face. "Nate, what's wrong? How much have you had to drink?"

Nathan started yelling, not really caring who heard. "What's wrong Rachel?! What's wrong is that this geek is all over my girl!" Without another word he punched Mouth in the jaw. He didn't realize how much this would anger Rachel. All he knew was that it felt good to do this. "Stay away from her." He told Mouth angrily.

**She spreads her love**

**She burns me up**

**I can't let go**

**I can't get out**

**I've said enough**

**Enough by now**

**I can't let go**

**I can't get out**

"Mouth!" She was shocked, and her attention was all on him. He had just been hurt. Mouth was fragile, and she would tend to him.

"So I guess you choose him?" Nathan asked her angrily. He wanted Rachel so badly right now. Every time he drank he got really horny. He was drunk, and Rachel was right in front of him. That gave him two good reasons to want her.

"We need to talk. You, me, outside. Now!" She yelled at him. "I'll be right back." She whispered to Mouth before getting up and dragging Nathan outside.

**Wait till the day you finally see**

**I've been here waiting patiently**

**Crossing my fingers and my t's**

**She cried on my shoulder begging please**

"What the hell!" She yelled at Nathan. "What was that about? And don't say he was flirting with your girl. Because I'm not your girl anymore!" She yelled at him. "And we weren't flirting. We were talking. Talking about you actually." She said, rubbing it in Nathan's face.

He was shocked. They had been talking about him? "What were you saying?" He asked her.

"Well, Mouth was saying I should get back with you, because you love me. But I was saying that I don't want to get back with you." She told him, upset that he would punch Mouth. Mouth, who thought that Rachel should take him back.

Nathan rested his hands on Rachel's hips, and she involuntarily moved closer to him. It was just a reflex, but she was glad she did. She wasn't angry with him anymore. His touch had made that go away. "Nathan, please stop." She asked him. She wouldn't let them be like this. Not again.

Right at that moment Mouth came out.

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around I'll let you feel the burn**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around come around no more**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around I'll let you feel the burn**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around no more**

"Oh, umm, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything." Mouth stuttered, avoiding eye contact with Nathan. He was a little afraid of him now.

"You're not interrupting anything. Rachel assured him, pulling away from Nathan. Seeing Mouth, her anger toward Nathan had come back. "You ok?" She asked him.

"Rachel." Nathan said, putting his hands back on her hips. "Please. I missed you. I…I need you. I love you." He said honestly. He was not good at opening himself up like that, but he would for Rachel.

She heard him. But she ignored him. She couldn't let him in. "You ready? You wanna go?" She asked Mouth. But she couldn't help herself. She glanced back at Nathan. She let out a small smile, but as soon as she did she regretted it.

Before Mouth could say anything, Nathan spoke up. "Yeah. Lets go." He said wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her away from Mouth.

**She spreads her love**

**She burns me up**

**I can't let go**

**I can't get out**

**I've said enough**

**Enough by now**

**I can't let go**

**I can't get out**

She wanted to pull away. She wanted to leave him to walk by himself, and go back to Mouth. But she couldn't. It was like Nathan had some hold over her. She let him lead her back to his place. As soon as they got into the door their lips met passionately, and Rachel pulled her shirt over her head. Nathan smiled, and pulled her into the bedroom, removing his own shirt in the progress. Rachel had missed him. She had missed this. She had gone about two weeks without sex. Whenever she got close with one of the guys from a bar, or a party Nathan always came to mind. She always backed out. But right now, it felt right. So right. And she could tell he felt that way too by his noticeable hardness. She smiled against his lips, and ran her hands lower. She unbuttoned his pants and slowly pulled them off, then pulled off his boxers.

Nathan knew that she wanted this just as badly as she did, and she was moving quickly. He unhooked her bra, then slid off her skirt and noticed that she was once again panty-less. "You knew you were gonna see me today, huh?" He asked her with a sly smile. Without waiting for an answer he slid into her. He could hear her moan in response. "You like that?" He asked cockily. He moved in and out, slowly at first then harder, faster, until he was at the edge. But he needed her to come first. He felt her muscles clench around him and heard her call out his name. That was all he needed, and he exploded inside her. "I missed you. I missed us." He said, kissing Rachel's forehead.

**What is it you really want?**

**I'm tired of asking**

**You come wasted**

"I…I think I'm gonna go." She told him. This was like…goodbye sex? Yeah, that was it. She quickly got up and got dressed. "Bye Nathan." She told him, and ran out the door. When she got outside she ran for about a block, then called Mouth. "Hey, Mouth. You have my keys. Remember how you took them away when I started drinking? Well, I kinda need a ride." She told him where she was and he quickly picked her up and brought her back to her house. Once she got inside and in her room she started crying. "I can't believe I did it again." She sobbed, and Mouth took her in his arms. "Its ok Rach. I promise." He told her, stroking her hair. Her gorgeous coppery hair. He loved it. He wanted to be the guy for Rachel, but he knew that he never would be. He just comforted her.

**When I showed up and he was there**

**I tried my best to grin and bear**

**And took the stairs but didn't stop at the street**

**And as we speak I'm going down**

Nathan got dressed and walked to Rachel's. He would drive, but he knew he was too wasted. He didn't bother to knock when he got there. He just walked up to Rachel's room, and saw her in Mouth's arms. "What the hell? Rach?" He asked, but didn't wait for her answer. He stormed off, running down the stairs. His girl. Rachel would always be his girl. And she was in another guy's arms. This was killing him. He wanted to be the one that comforted her, not Mouth.

**Cause she spread her love**

**And burnt me up**

**I can't let go**

**I can't get out**

**I've said enough**

**Enough by now**

**I can't let go**

**I can't get out**

Rachel heard Nathan. She felt bad. She felt like she had stabbed him in the back. Like she had hurt him. And the idea of hurting him hurt her. She looked at Mouth as if asking for permission. He nodded and she ran downstairs. She saw Nathan walking away, drinking a bottle of vodka. She guessed he had taken it from her kitchen. There was more than enough alcohol there. "Nathan!" She called his name. When he heard her he turned around and lowered the bottle. She was glad that he lowered the bottle, because this way she could, and she did, give him a long, passionate kiss. "I missed you too Nathan. I missed us too." She finally whispered when she pulled back.

Nathan wasn't expecting her to kiss him, but was glad she did. He kissed her back, happy that she was here. "I love you Rachel. Will you be my girlfriend again?" He asked hopefully

"I love you too Nathan. Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend!" She exclaimed happily. She kissed him again, and started to lead him back towards her house, the kiss not breaking. She led him in the house, up the stairs, and into her room before she realized Mouth was there.

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around I'll let you feel the burn**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around come around no more**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around I'll let you feel the burn**

**Think twice before you touch my girl**

**Come around no more**

Nathan tried not to laugh when he noticed Mouth was sitting there. "What? You wanna watch or something?" He asked him, then kissed Rachel's neck.

"Down boy." She said to Nathan with a little laugh, pushing him away slightly. "Sorry Mouth, I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked him, fighting her hardest to not jump Nathan right there. So what if they had just had sex before she came home. They were official again, and they needed to celebrate.

He looked between Rachel, the girl he wanted, and Nathan, the guy she wanted. He realized that there was no use trying to win her over. She had listened to his advice and gone back to the man she loved, that loved her. He really just wanted her to be happy. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." He said to her. "Have fun." He added in before leaving the room, and leaving the house. He looked inside her bedroom window for about ten minutes, watching Rachel and Nathan have sex. He just imagined and wished that it was him. Little did he know that upstairs, they were in heaven. That they had agreed to finally move in together.

A/N: Sorry it took so long! It takes me forever to update, because I have a lot of stuff going on in my life. There are probably going to be about 3 more chapters I'm guessing. If it works out I might add more. R&R!


	3. Running Up That Hill

Thank you Sarah11650 and IloveJameslafferty for reviewing. I had some trouble choosing a song for this chapter, but I hope you like it!

**It doesn't hurt me. **

**You want to feel how it feels? **

**You want to know that it doesn't hurt me? **

**You want to hear about the deal that I'm making? **

**You,(be running up that hill)**

**You and me. (be running up that hill)**

She called me this morning. Last night I watched her and Nathan through her window, and this morning she called me. She told me they were planning to move in together. That's the last thing I want. And besides, we're in high school. How many high school couples move in together? But when Rachel says jump, Marvin McFadden jumps. He would do anything for her. That's why he showed up. She said she needed help moving. Well, Nathan Scott must be a real ass, huh? He wouldn't even help her move.

Rachel and Nathan were fooling around on her bed, both shirtless, when they heard the front door open. "That's Mouth. He agreed to help me move. Where's my shirt?" Rachel asked Nathan in a rush. She grabbed her shirt out of Nathan's hand, and barely got it on before Mouth walked into the room. "Hey Mouth." She greeted him. He saw Nathan shirtless. And he saw that Rachel had just put hers on. He figured that they had actually had sex, not that he interrupted them before they could. And it hurt him. But he didn't let it show. He just smiled.

**And if I only could, **

**I'd make a deal with God, **

**And I'd get him to swap our places, **

**Be running up that road, **

**Be running up that hill, **

**Be running up that building. **

**If I only could, oh... **

Nathan slipped on his shirt and made his way over to behind Rachel. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. He could show this kid that Rachel was his. Rachel and Nathan. Not Rachel and Mouth. "Babe, why did you ask him to help? You know I'm here. You know I'm helping. And I can probably lift ten times what he can."

Rachel smiled against the feeling of Nathan's arms. She felt safe when he wrapped his arms around her. She turned around so they were face to face. "If it was just us would we get anything done?" She asked him. "No. We'd make out, then have sex. But we wouldn't succeed in actually moving." She explained. With someone else there they would have another set of arms, and someone to stop them from having sex.

"You know I don't like him." Nathan whispered to her. "Why didn't you call our other friends? Like Lucas?" He asked, although he had an idea why. Since Lucas and Peyton had gotten together they had been practically inseparable. And right now Peyton was at his apartment, making it look nicer. He had her go over to do an Extreme Makeover Home Edition so Rachel would feel more comfortable.

"Because he didn't answer his phone." She simply answered, then gave Nathan a quick kiss. She glanced back at Mouth and almost laughed when she saw his face. "C'mon Nate, I think we're making Mouth a little uncomfortable."

Mouth was somewhat uncomfortable, but was also enjoying it. He was imagining that it was him instead of Nathan. He would give anything to be in Nathan's shoes. "No, its ok. You two are dating. You're moving in together. Its fine." He assured them. He wasn't going to say it was ok because he was imagining him and Rachel.

**You don't want to hurt me, **

**But see how deep the bullet lies. **

**Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. **

**There is thunder in our hearts, baby**

"See, its fine. Now come here." Nathan said pulling her closer. She smiled at him, but then she pulled away. "What?" He asked.

"Nathan, wait till we get back to our place." She said with a smile. Our place. Rachel and Nathan's apartment. It sounded so good. She loved being able to say it. "If we don't get everything packed and moved, we won't get to spend tonight there." She whined to him. "So hurry up and start packing my stuff!" She playfully yelled at him.

"Right away." He said sarcastically, but took a box and opened the top drawer in her dresser. Her lingerie drawer. "Should I put this in the box if I want you to wear it tonight?" He asked her, holding up a yellow lace chemise.

"Gimme that." She said grabbing it from him and shoving it in her purse. "I'll wear it for you tonight if you get to work!" She reminded him. She glanced over at Mouth and saw an uncomfortable look on his face. "Sorry Mouth. Tone it down boy." She said, playfully kicking Nathan.

Mouth hated watching this. He hated seeing Rachel and Nathan play like that. He hated being reminded that they were having sex. He hated Nathan in general, but he loved Rachel. He loved her hair, he loved her laugh, he loved the way she smiled, he loved how whenever she was around he smiled, and felt like they were meant to be. But Rachel didn't seem to understand. She didn't understand how much he wanted her.

**Is there so much hate for the ones we love? **

**Tell me, we both matter, don't we? **

**You, (be running up that hill)**

**you and me. (be running up that hill)**

**You and me won't be unhappy. **

Mouth started to disassemble the bed, along with some help from Nathan. He started to pack everything under the bed and was down to one thing left. There was a box, and he figured it would be easier to just put everything that was in the box into a bigger box. He opened it, but before he could see what was in it he heard a yell. "Mouth, no!" He had no idea why Nathan would yell at him, but then Rachel turned around and almost ran, the closed the box again. "What? What's the big deal?" He asked.

Rachel glanced over at Nathan and smirked. Then she turned back to Mouth. You didn't see what was in the box, did you?" She asked him. She stifled a laugh then said "You don't wanna see what's in there."

"I wanna see." Nathan whined to her. "Bring the box for tonight? I've been a bad boy." He whispered to her seductively.

"Ooh, do you need to be punished?" She asked him, forgetting for the moment that Mouth was there. "Hmm, how bad have you been? Do we need to handcuff you? Do we need to whip you?" She asked him.

Nathan's mouth was watering, and he could feel his erection growing. "Not fair Rach. Not right now." He whined, gesturing towards Mouth. He wouldn't have sex with Rachel right in front of him.

**And if I only could, **

**I'd make a deal with God, **

**And I'd get him to swap our places, **

**Be running up that road, **

**Be running up that hill, **

**Be running up that building, **

**If I only could, oh... **

Mouth felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave. But he wouldn't leave Nathan and Rachel alone. "Ummm, Rachel, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked.

Rachel looked back at Nathan. "Gimme a few minutes, ok? I'll be right back, I promise." She gave him a light kiss then walked into the hall with Mouth. "What's up?" She asked him curiously.

"I don't think you should move in with Nathan." He told her. He knew that he would now need a reason to back it up with. But what could he say? "Rach, I was wrong before. He's not good for you."

"Mouth, what are you talking about?" She asked. "You told me to get back together with him. I'm happy with him." She explained. "Why are you acting like this now?" She questioned.

**"C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, **

**Let me steal this moment from you now. **

**C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling, **

**Let's exchange the experience, oh..." **

"Rachel, he doesn't deserve you." Mouth finally told her. "He's not good enough for you. You are a goddess Rachel. And you deserve someone who would treat you like one, not someone who just treats you like another conquest."

"Mouth, he loves me. And I love him. He doesn't just treat me like a conquest. He treats me better than he used to treat Haley. He treats me better than I deserve Mouth." She tried to explain. She wanted nothing more than to be with Nathan forever.

"No. He doesn't. He doesn't treat you how you deserve. He doesn't treat you how I would!" He regretted saying that. He didn't want her to know about his feelings. He wanted her to leave Nathan, then realize that he was the one for her. Not by him telling her.

**And if I only could, **

**I'd make a deal with God, **

**And I'd get him to swap our places, **

**Be running up that road, **

**Be running up that hill, **

**With no problems. **

"Nathan was right." She said shocked. "Mouth, I think you should leave." She told him honestly. She didn't wait to see if he would say anything, or leave. She walked back into her room and wrapped her arms around Nathan. "You were right. About Mouth. I'm so sorry." She told him, then kissed him.

Nathan was worried. "What did he do? What happened?" He asked her. He held her close to him, as close as she could be. He knew this upset her, and he just wanted to comfort her. "What happened babe?"

"He told me to leave you, to be with him instead." She told him, feeling the tears well up behind her eyes. "I wish I listened to you when you first told me."

Mouth was watching them from the doorway. He wanted more than anything to be the one that Rachel went to. He would give anything to be the one that comforted her.

**"If I only could, I'd be running up that hill. **

**If I only could, I'd be running up that hill."**

All of a sudden Mouth heard something that he felt would make him sick. Something that he dreaded. Something that he wished was all in his mind. But it wasn't in his mind. It was real. It had just happened.

Nathan took a deep breath and spoke. "Rachel, how long have we been together now? Almost a year. And you know I love you. I love you more than I thought was possible. Until I met you. And yes, I'm protective of you. And I knew that Mouth wanted you. But I want you to be mine. Forever. I never thought I would ask anyone this again. Especially so soon. But I feel like I have to. Rachel Gatina, will you marry me?"

A/N Hey guys, so this one was kinda rushed and shorter than my other chapters. I just wanted to get it out of the way to set it up for the next chapter. The next one will probably take a little while, but it'll be worth it. Trust me. R&R!


	4. Thinking Over

A/N: I wanna thank IloveJameslafferty for reviewing (and sharing my hatred of Naley). And of course Niki! I also wanted to apologize for taking so long to update. I've had friends' birthdays, & my dad's birthday is in a few days. Then of course, getting ready for school to start again. I'm going on vacation on Monday, the13th, but I'll only be gone for about 3 days. I promise to update when I get back! Also, I wanted to clarify, Nathan and Haley WERE married and DID have James. They haven't really been mentioned yet, but they will be. Oh, and they all still live in Tree Hill.

----

**I've been searching for a reason and I'm running out of time**

**I can feel that it's the season**

**It's time to make up my mind**

"What?" Rachel questioned him. Did he really just ask her to marry him? Him and Haley had only officially divorced a few months ago. They had separated over a year ago, before Rachel started dating him. But the divorce had just been made official. She wasn't really sure if they should. If they were ready for that. "Nathan, I love you. And I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you Nathan. I do." She assured him. "I just…I don't know if either of us is ready for that sort of commitment right now." She felt bad for saying that, but it was true.

Nathan looked away. He could honestly say that he felt tears. He hadn't cried since Haley had taken James away. But at least when that happened he had Rachel there for him. He had found comfort in the arms of the girl who had wanted him. The girl who he had grown to fall in love with. "Please Rach, I love you. Will you at least think about it?" He asked her.

**And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do**

**There are so many thoughts in my head**

**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose**

**So I'm thinking over the things that you've said**

**I'm thinking over the things**

"Of course I'll think about it." She told him. And she was thinking about it. She could marry him. He wanted to marry her. But, it was difficult. He had already been married. And its not like his family liked her. Lucas did, but the rest of his family hated her. Or at least the idea of them together. Probably because she had been with Cooper too. If she got married to him she would marry into a family that hated her, and the life she loved would be long gone. She would be officially tied down. She didn't cheat on Nathan, nor did she plan too, but getting married would be an intense commitment. But, they loved each other. Maybe they should? "I…I'm gonna call Brooke. I need some time alone. I just need to think." She told a stunned Nathan, then turned and left the room. She called Brooke, saying she needed to get away. In a few minutes Brooke was there, then they both left.

----

Nathan decided to call Lucas to finish getting her stuff moved in. He was relieved to find that his older brother answered the phone. "Hey, Rach just kinda bailed on me. Do you think you could come over and help me move her stuff?" About fifteen minutes later Lucas was there.

"So what happened?" Lucas asked his brother, while picking up a box to carry to the car.

"I asked her to marry me." Nathan answered, then saw Lucas drop the box. "Hey, be careful with that! Rach will kill me if anything breaks!"

"You what?!" Lucas asked, completely ignoring his brother scolding him. "Nathan, don't you think it's a little soon?" He asked.

"That's what she said. She walked out. She said she needed some time to think." He muttered. He couldn't look his brother in the eyes, he felt disappointed. Suddenly his phone buzzed in his pocket, signaling a text message. He pulled it out and read a text from Haley. Shit, he was supposed to have James this weekend! "Can you move this stuff? I gotta pick up James." And without waiting for an answer he left.

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over the things that you've said**

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over the things**

"Rach, what happened?" Brooke questioned carefully. They had made their way to the Rivercourt, and Rachel had barely spoken a word. Something was definitely going on.

"Its too soon to get married, isn't it? This soon after his divorce?" She asked Brooke. She honestly just wanted someone to tell her what to do. She couldn't make the decision on her own.

"Did…did Nathan propose?" Brooke asked her shocked.

"Yeah, he did. I have no idea what to do Brooke." She told her. She was too scared.

"Well, do you want to marry him?" She asked Rachel.

----

Nathan took a drive to Haley's house. He took a few minutes to finally calm down enough to see his ex-wife and his two year old son. He walked up to the door and knocked.

"Its about time." Haley sighed, opening the door. "What took you so long?" As soon as the words came out of her mouth she noticed how sad Nathan looked. "What's wrong Nate? Problems with Rachel?" She questioned. She knew that they were moving in together. Lucas had told her that.

"I…um…I kinda proposed." He muttered. "And she kinda freaked on me and left."

"Really now? That sucks. She really is a hot piece of ass." Nathan heard a voice say behind Haley.

"Hi Kellar." He said to Chris. Yes, Haley had left Nathan for Chris.

"Daddy!" He heard his 2 year old son call out. James ran at him and wrapped his arms tightly around his father's legs. "Daddy, where's mommy Rachel?" This is what James always referred to her as. Even Haley was alright with it.

"Mommy Rachel isn't here, but its ok. We're gonna go see her later." Nathan said thinking quickly. James and Rachel seemed to have a connection. That little boy really seemed to love her.

"Yay for mommy Rachel!" James cheered. "Daddy, can we go see her now?" He begged.

Nathan looked at Haley. Haley just handed him James's bag for the weekend. "Say bye to mommy and Chris first." Nathan instructed. The little boy said his good-byes then ran to Nathan's car.

**Am I ready for forever **

**Oh**

**God show me a sign 'cause if we're to be together then it's got to be divine**

"I have no idea Brooke. I mean, I want to be with him, but I don't know if we're ready. Either of us. I just wish I had a sign, telling me what to do."

As if on cue, she heard a car door open, then another door open, and a voice. A small voice. "Mommy Rachel! Aunty Brooke!" She looked over and saw James running full speed at her. She was ready to let him run into her arms into a hug when he tripped on the concrete of the basketball court.

"You wanted a sign." Brooke said to her, then heard a cry. When she looked up James was laying on the ground crying.

Rachel saw him fall. She heard Brooke, but was already on her way towards the little boy. When she got to him she took him in her arms. "Shhh, its ok Jamie." She assured him. She looked at his knees and saw a small scrape. Nothing bad. Not bleeding. She looked up from him to see Nathan standing above them. "He's ok." She told him. After about two and a half minutes James finally calmed down. "I love you mommy Rachel. I missed you." He told her.

"And you didn't miss me?" Brooke asked, walking over.

"Of course I did Aunty Brooke! But I see you all the time!" It was true. Haley had Brooke come over to baby-sit, or just to visit as a friend. But Haley didn't like Rachel. And if Rachel wasn't with Nathan, Haley would try to keep James away from her. But she allowed him to see her whenever he was with his father.

**And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do **

**There are so many thoughts in my head**

**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose**

**So I'm thinking over the things that you've said**

**I'm thinking over the things**

"Uh, Brooke? Can you take him for a few minutes?" Nathan asked. He needed to talk to Rachel.

"Nope. I'm staying with mommy Rachel." James insisted, wrapping his little arms tightly around her.

"James, sweety, please go with Aunty Brooke." Rachel said to him. James pouted, but went.

"Do you still want to move in with me?" Nathan asked her. "Because Lucas is moving your stuff in. But if you don't want to anymore…" He was silenced when Rachel's lips met his.

She finally pulled back, then whispered to him. "Nathan, I love you. Yes, I still want to move in with you. And like I said before, I want to marry you. I just think it might be too soon."

Nathan smiled. "Good, because I don't know how that little boy would handle it if anything happened to our relationship. Speaking of, do you wanna go home? I'm pretty sure Lucas has finished moving everything in." He looked at his watch. It was 6 anyways. "And James has to get to bed within an hour." The latest he would put James to bed was 7 pm.

"I would love that." She said honestly. She walked over to where Brooke was sitting in Nathan's car with James. "Already making sure he's ready to go?" She asked playfully.

"No, I was just telling him about everything that has ever happened here." The Rivercourt had played a large part in their lives. It was true.

"So sweet." She said seriously. "James, are you ready to go home? You know what, mommy Rachel is even staying there." She said with a smile.

"Yay!" James cheered, causing the three adults to let out small laughs.

"You have no idea how much I agree with that." Rachel told him. "Bye Brooke." She told her, wanting to get home badly. They had to. They had to get James to bed, then they could christen their home. As theirs.

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over the things that you've said**

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over the things**

"Mommy Rachel, will you help Daddy tuck me in?" He asked before they got inside.

"Of course I will Jamie." She assured him. Nathan was the first inside. He unlocked the door and led the way in. When Rachel and James got in they both looked around shocked. "What did you do?" She asked him, shocked.

"I had Peyton get the place ready. Make you feel more at home." He told her. "Do you like it?" He asked hopefully. There was all new furniture, and on the walls there was a mural of the Italian Riviera. Rachel had brought him to her family's house there on vacation once.

"It's amazing." She told him with a smile. She loved that he would do this for her. She wanted to take him, or at least kiss him, right here, but James was standing there so she wouldn't.

"James, its bedtime. You can play with your new room in the morning." Nathan told him. In response the child's eyes grew wide and he ran into his room. Nathan and Rachel followed him in there. "James, bed." Nathan repeated. "You can play with your new room in the morning." James reluctantly climbed into bed. After pestering his father and Rachel, he finally fell asleep. Nathan led Rachel out of James's room and into the hall. "You know, after all that moving, I was thinking about going to bed early." He said suggestively, putting his hands on Rachel's hips and pulling her close to him.

"I like the sound of that." She replied, then let her lips meet his again. She started to pull him towards the bedroom, their bedroom. As soon as they made their way into the room she closed the door behind them, and regretted not getting a lock. She decided to forget about that and focus all her attention on Nathan. Her Nathan. She pulled his shirt off over his head, then unbuttoned his pants.

Nathan could tell that she could barely wait. And judging by the hardened member pressing against his jeans, he couldn't wait much longer either. He pulled her towards the bed, and practically threw her onto it. He straddled her and pulled off her light yellow camisole, revealing a purple and black lace bra. He felt himself get even harder when he saw it. "You are so sexy." He whispered to her. He unhooked her bra and pulled it off. He gripped one of her breasts, and took the other in his mouth. He heard Rachel gasp, then moan as he continued to lick her nipple. Just when he thought she was about to scream he switched, and now massaged the one he just licked, and licked the one he had massaged.

"Nathan," Rachel moaned. She reached down and slid off his unbuttoned jeans and his boxers. "I need you. Inside me." She breathed into his ear, then lightly kissed the sensitive spot right behind his ear.

Nathan loved it whenever she kissed him there, but felt like he needed more. He needed what she needed. He needed to be inside her. He unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off, revealing another day she had gone panty less. He kissed her neck while slowly sliding into her. He didn't bother with a condom. She was on the pill, and neither of them had any STD's. He loved how she felt though, and thought she felt better without condoms. She was so wet, and so tight. She was probably the best he had ever had. And that was really saying something, because he had been with a lot of girls. He started to work up the pace, going fast and hard, just how both he and Rachel liked it.

"God Nathan!" She whispered to him. She wrapped her legs around him, trying to get him as deep into her as possible. "Oh God, I'm close." She whispered, digging her nails into his back. She tried her hardest not to scream and wake the sleeping James. Instead she grabbed the closest pillow and pressed it against her face muffling the screams that came as she reached her peak.

Nathan had to lean forward and bury his face into the same pillow Rachel used to muffle her screams. She felt so good, and for some reason, they were always so loud when they were together. He now basically collapsed on top of her. After a few minutes of both of them trying to catch their breath he finally rolled off of her. "That was amazing." He whispered to her.

"Yeah, it was." Rachel said with a small smile. She looked around and managed to grab one of Nathan's large tee shirts and a pair of his boxers. Nathan seemed to give her an odd look as she put them on. "What? I don't want James to come in and find me naked." She said honestly, then handed Nathan the boxers she basically tore off of him, which was laying on the floor right next to her.

Nathan grinned as he put his boxers on, then pulled Rachel close to him. "Welcome home." He whispered into her neck, then the two lovers fell asleep in each other's arms.

**He wants to marry me**

**Carry me far away **

**He wants to love me for life**

**He wants to be with me every morning I awake**

**He wants to hold me through the night**

"Mommy Rachel?" Rachel suddenly heard. She looked at the clock. 8AM. Why hadn't the alarm gone off?

"Hey Jamie, come here." She offered to the young boy. He ran into the room and jumped on the bed, waking his father.

"Morning Daddy!" James said with a smile.

"Yeah, morning daddy." Rachel added, then leaned over and kissed him. "Sleep well?" She asked him with a smirk.

"Mommy Rachel, did you stay here in Daddy's room last night? Are you wearing Daddy's clothes?" James asked.

Rachel looked at Nathan again and smirked again. "Why now aren't we observant? Yes, I did stay here in Daddy's room. And yes, I am in Daddy's clothes. Because James, mommy Rachel lives here now. Daddy's room is mommy Rachel's room too." She explained to him. What was the harm in telling him?

"Oh, like how Mommy and daddy Chris share a room?" He asked. "I get it! I'm hungry." He said changing the subject.

"I'll make breakfast." Nathan told them, sitting up in bed.

"Uh, no. He said he wants breakfast. As in something edible. Meaning I'm making it." Rachel said to him. She looked from Nathan to James and just smiled. How different would it really be if they were married? Not very. They already seemed like a family.

**Father which way should I go**

**I cannot clearly see**

**Oh**

**I love him so but only you know if he's the one for me**

It took her some time, but she finally realized what she had to do. "James, go wash your face and brush your teeth. Then I'll go make breakfast." Rachel told him. James obeyed her and went into the bathroom. "So fiancé, I guess I should go make breakfast, huh?" She asked Nathan.

"Did you just say…?" Nathan asked excited. Very excited. Did she just accept his proposal?

"I would love to marry you Nathan." She told him honestly. She leaned over and kissed him, but when she tried to pull away, he pulled her back in. "Lets not get too into it, James is awake." She reminded him.

"You'll be a fantastic stepmother to him, Rachel. Rachel Scott, I like how that sounds." Nathan assured her.

"Me too." She agreed, and lightly kissed him again. "Come on, lets go make breakfast."

**Thinking over the things that you've said**

**I'm thinking over **

**Thinking over **

**Only you know if he's the one for me**

When they got downstairs Rachel started to make breakfast. Cereal for James. Eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast for Nathan and herself. "Hey buddy," Nathan said carefully to James. "Um, mommy Rachel and I have something we wanted to talk to you about. We're getting married. How are you with that?" He wanted his son to accept this.

"So is mommy Rachel going to take Mommy's place?" He asked in horror.

"No." Rachel insisted before Nathan could say anything. "James, no one can take your mommy's place. Me and Daddy getting married just means we live together, and the whole world knows how much we love each other. But I'm not taking your mommy's place."

"Oh, if it just shows how much you love each other why didn't you do it already? Do it!" He said happy.

**I cant really tell you what I'm gonna do**

**There are so many thoughts in my head**

**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose**

**I'm thinking over the things that you've said**

Rachel smiled when James told her to marry Nathan. She served everyone food, and they all ate quickly. She cleaned up and James played in his room while Nathan got ready for the day. He came downstairs in a basketball outfit. "I'm gonna take James out with me. Probably try to teach him basketball. Come with us, my beautiful fiancé?" Nathan questioned.

"You know that line can only work for so long." She said with a smile. Of course she would go with them, but first she needed to tease her fiancé.

"Oh I know that. Because eventually I'll have to call you my beautiful wife." He gave her a light kiss. "Now run upstairs and shower. And hurry because you know that James is impatient." Before she went upstairs she heard the phone ring. "I'll get it. You get in the shower!" Nathan called to Rachel. But before she made it upstairs, she heard who had called Nathan. And it shocked her. "Cooper?"

----

A/N: dundundun! And in a few days I'm leaving to go on vacation. What a shame. Oh well, I'll probably bring my laptop with me. I have wireless internet there. Sorry if it seems a little sloppy. The spacebar is broken on my laptop. You have to slam it hard for it to work. And I started writing this at 11 pm. Just finished and its 6am. I had to get it just right. R&R! I might be able to get an update in before I leave on vacation. Or manage to type it & post while I'm away. More reviewsfaster updates!


	5. Too Little, Too Late

A/N: I would like to thank IloveJameslafferty and Annaabananaa23 for reviewing. I also had another reviewer. BeccaOrton93. I don't want to thank her for reviewing. I want to thank her for being my best friend ever/practically sister! Becca, the fact that you read this means a lot to me! And, because I was out of the state for her birthday (which was August 13th) This chapter is dedicated to her! I love you girly! Oh, and thanks to Robin for telling me a song. I just think this one goes better with what I have planned.

WARNING: There will be violence in this chapter.

**Come with me **

**Stay the night **

**You say the words but boy it don't feel right **

**What do you expect me to say **

**(You know it's just too little too late) **

It was two weeks ago that Nathan got that call from Cooper. And he never mentioned it to Rachel. And she hadn't brought it up to him either. It was a Friday afternoon, and Nathan was asleep. He had come home with a Tiffany's necklace for Rachel, and in thanks she had worn him out. The phone rang, awakening him from his sleep. He remembered the call a few weeks ago, and instantly felt guilty for not mentioning it to Rachel. She was his fiancé, and Copper's ex. She had a right to know.

"_Hello?" Nathan asked answering the phone_

"_NATE! Long time no talk to! How are you? How's the wife and the son?" A voice came through the phone._

"_Cooper?"_

"_The one and only." Cooper boasted._

"_Don't call here again Cooper. Leave me, my fiancé, and my son alone." He spat angrily._

"_Fiancé? You and Haley split up? Who's the lucky girl? And what did I do? Why do I have to leave you alone?" He asked confused._

"_I'm engaged to Rachel. You know, the girl you hurt. After what you did to her, you're dead to us." He explained, and hung up the phone._

"Go back to sleep. I'll get it." Rachel told him. She seemed to have more stamina than he did. She made her way out to the living room where the phone was, and answered it. "Hello?" she asked.

"Oh, Rachel? Is Nathan there?" Haley asked uncomfortably on the other side of the phone.

"Yeah, but he's kinda asleep right now. He had a long day. Is everything ok?" Rachel asked. Haley seemed a little…out of it.

"I just got a call from my tour manager. He wants me to go on a tour. But I gotta catch a flight in two hours. I was hoping he could pick up James, maybe keep him for a few weeks. Do you think you can? If you can at least pick him up, and keep him for a night, then after that he can stay with-" Haley rushed, but was interrupted by Rachel.

"I'll be right there. And we'll keep him the whole time. Don't worry. We love him. I'll be right there." She explained, then ended the call. "Nate, babe, we get James for a few weeks. Get your ass dressed. I'm going to get him now." She told him while getting dressed quickly. She rushed out the door of the house, and was shocked by who was sitting in a car outside the house. "Cooper…" She whispered.

"Rachel." He said quietly. He hadn't seen her in about a year. She looked like sex, but she still looked beautiful to him. "Rach, I miss you. How is the baby? How old is it now? A few months?"

Rachel's eyes clouded with tears. "I have to go pick up James. I'll be back." She told him.

"Rach, please come back to me?" He asked. Her response to him was turning her back and walking to the car.

**You take my hand and you say you've changed **

**But boy you know your begging don't fool me **

**Because to you it's just a game **

**(You know it's just a little too late) **

"So mommy Rachel, am I really staying here a month?" The little boy asked in shock. He was excited to spend so much time with his father and future step-mother.

"Yeah Jamie, you are. Are you ok with that? I know you'll miss your mom a lot." Rachel said cautiously as they pulled up in front of the apartment she and Nathan shared. "Oh shit." She said when she saw Cooper was still there.

"MOMMY RACHEL!" James yelled at her. "You just said a bad word."

"I know Jamie. I'm sorry." She told him, then got out of the car and walked to unbuckle James from his car seat. Unfortunately, Cooper walked over to her.

"You got rid of it, didn't you?" He accused her. He watched as she picked up James, carrying him to the door, not saying anything. He got angry when she tried to close the door on him. He grabbed it before it closed all the way and slammed it open. "DON'T IGNORE ME!" He yelled at her. This drove James to tears.

"Mommy Rachel, what's happening?" He asked through sobs. Nathan heard the yelling and his son crying. He knew this was bad.

"Its ok Jamie." Rachel assured him. She then directed her attention to Cooper. "Cooper, don't do this now. Not in front of James. Can't you see that you're scaring him?" She asked, but soon Nathan came to her rescue.

Nate walked into the room in just a pair of boxers. "Uncle Cooper, get out." He spat. "I already told you on the phone, you're dead to us. Now leave."

"And why am I dead to you? I've changed, and I know she still wants me."

"Nothing can change what you did. And she doesn't want you. If she wanted you, would we be engaged?" He asked. In response to that, Rachel held up her left hand and flashed her engagement ring. "James, go play in your room. Everything will be ok. I promise." And with that a still crying James left the room. "Cooper, don't you dare try anything. You are the lowest of the low, and deserve to go to jail."

_Haley had left Nathan. She said that working with Chris again, she had feelings for him. And she wanted to be with him. She had basically kicked him out. The only place he could think of going was Rachel's. They had become good friends over the last year. But he wasn't prepared for what he saw when he got there. He heard yelling, then watched and listened through the open window._

"_Cooper, I'm pregnant." She told him. Cooper had been in town since a few days after graduation, and instantly gotten back with Rachel. Some thought that while she was gone she had been with him._

"_No, you're not." He told her, in a controlling voice. "You're lying. WHY WOULD YOU LIE?!" he yelled at her, grabbing her arm roughly, getting in her face._

"_I'm not lying. OW! Cooper, stop!" She yelped._

"_No, you're lying! You're not pregnant! You were on the pill!" He yelled, shoving her against the wall. When Nathan saw this he got upset. How could Cooper be doing that to his girlfriend? His pregnant girlfriend._

"_Leave her alone!" Nathan yelled running into the house. Rachel was crying her eyes out. "Nathan, don't. It's my fault." She told him._

"_Get out Uncle Cooper. Leave her alone. You're dead to me. If you ever hurt again, you really will be dead. Take that as a threat." Nathan spat, pushing Cooper away from Rachel and pulling the crying girl into his arms. "Its ok Rach, you're ok. I promise I'll always be here. I'll stay here with you tonight. You're ok." He whispered trying to calm her down. And it worked. That night things had changed for them. They had felt sparks, and things had finally started. Rachel wasn't pregnant, it was a false alarm. They learned that when Nathan brought her to the doctor's. He had promised that no matter what the results were, he would be there for her. And now, a year later, they were still going strong. And had cut Cooper out of their lives. _

**So let me on down 'cause time has made me strong **

**I'm starting to move on **

**I'm gonna say this now **

**Your chance has come and gone and you know**

"Cooper, please leave?" Rachel asked him scared.

"No." He flat out said. "No, I won't leave. Not unless Rach is with me."

"She's not going anywhere with you!" Nathan shouted at his uncle. "She is staying with me and my son! She told me! She told me everything! And I'm not letting her near you!"

_Nathan was holding Rachel close. It was the night Cooper had hurt her, and she needed sleep. "OW!" She suddenly yelped. _

"_What is it?" He questioned worried. "What?" He then realized that she only yelped once he had put his hand on a certain spot of her back. And she was just crying. He pulled up the back of her shirt and saw bruises. Almost her entire back was covered with them. But only the places that were covered by clothes most of the time. The jackass knew how to keep it a secret. "Rach, show me all your bruises. All the marks he's left." Nathan said sternly, yet comforting at the same time. When he said that Rachel took off her shirt completely, and removed her pants. She wasn't sure she wanted him to know all the places Cooper had hurt her, but she would show him. Because she felt like he was the only one who cared. She unhooked her bra, and pulled off her panties, sobbing. In addition to all the visible wounds, she had internal ones too. Ones that she thought would never heal. "Rach, how long has this been going on?"_

"_Since he came back to town. I…I tried to end it. Several times. But he…he raped me. Any time I said no, or tried to end it…he never took no for an answer." She sobbed harder and harder. She was sitting completely naked in front of her best friend, and was covered in bruises. Bruises that his uncle left. She didn't know what to do, but just leaned over and kissed him. He kissed her back, and soon she was laying on top of him, already naked. That's when he realized how wrong this was._

"_No Rach." He said, pulling back. "No, not yet. Not after what happened today. I'm not going to take advantage of you while you're vulnerable."_

_She was shocked that he had said that. A guy had never turned her down, or even been kind to her like that. "Thank you." She choked up and hugged him. She covered herself with a blanket and held on to Nathan, drifting off to sleep. He spent the night awake, thinking non-stop about Rachel. Even with everything that had happened today with Haley, all he could think about was Rachel. _

**It's just too little too late **

**A little too wrong and I can't wait **

**Boy you know all the right things to say**

**You know it's just a little too late **

**You say you dream of my face but you don't like me **

**You just like the chase **

**To be real it doesn't matter anyway **

**You know it's just too little too late **

"Rachel, I haven't been able to get my mind off of you. Please Rachel, I love you." He explained to her.

"No." She cried. "No Cooper. Please, don't say that."

"Mommy Rachel? Why are you crying?" James asked, walking into the room. "Mommy Rachel, I'm hungry. Lets go have some food." He said, trying to cheer her up.

She shot Cooper one last angry look, then shot an apologetic look to Nathan. "Yeah, ok Jamie. I'll make you something to eat. Lets go." She brought him into the kitchen and gave him some cereal. She was trying not to cry in front of the young boy.

"Mommy Rachel, who is that in there?" He asked. He didn't know who Cooper was.

"That's your daddy's uncle. But, he's a bad guy. We don't talk to him, or about him. Ok?" She asked him, pulling him into her lap.

"Ok mommy Rachel. Anything for you." He said with a smile. "I love you mommy Rachel. Don't cry." He said with a smile. She smiled back at him. He always made her happy. She loved that they would have him for a month.

**I was young and in love **

**I gave you everything but it wasn't enough**

**And now you wanna communicate **

**(You know it's just too little too late) **

"Mommy Rachel, why won't he leave us alone?" James asked her, wrapping his arms tightly around her neck.

"When mommy Rachel was younger she dated Cooper. That's his name. Cooper. Well, he doesn't understand that mommy Rachel loves daddy now. He wants mommy Rachel to leave daddy and go with Cooper. But mommy Rachel isn't leaving daddy." She assured him.

"Good. I'd cry if you leave me mommy Rachel." He told her. And those words brought tears to her eyes.

"I'll never leave you Jamie. I promise." She said hugging him tightly. "I promise." She repeated. It was more for herself than him. Than she had to remind herself. After all, Cooper was her first love. A part of her wanted to get back with him. But he used her. She couldn't. And she had a family now. A fiancé, a future step-son, and they meant the world to her. She wouldn't do anything to ruin this. Just then Cooper came barging in the door.

"We need to talk." He told her angrily.

"No! Mommy Rachel promised me that she would never leave me. That she would never leave daddy for you!" The young boy chimed in.

That caused Rachel to laugh, and nod. "You're right Jaime. I would never leave your daddy for him." Just as she said that Nathan barged into the room with a baseball bat in his hand, ready to defend Rachel.

**Go find someone else **

**I'm letting you go I'm loving myself **

**You gotta problem **

**But don't come asking me for help**

**'Cause you know **

"Rachel, talk to me. Did you get an abortion? You did, didn't you?" He accused.

"It was a false alarm. Now can we not talk about it in front of James?" She hoped that James being there would deter him.

"You did lie!" Cooper yelled, grabbing Rachel's arm roughly and yanking her to her feet away from the chair. The little boy who had been sitting on her lap now fell to the floor. But he wouldn't cry. He wanted to be a little man and defend Rachel.

"Let her go you meany!" He yelled at Cooper, running to him and flailing his arms, trying to attack.

This was too much for Nathan. He took the wooden baseball bat and hit Cooper in the back with it. Hard. Cooper grabbed at his back, releasing Rachel. She was shocked, as was Cooper and James. That poor little boy just sat there and cried. "What the fuck?!" Cooper yelled out.

"You have a problem Cooper. Get therapy. Or else you will never see any of my family ever again. I will tell mom, and your parents! You will never see Rachel or James ever again! Do you hear me?! Never! Now get out of my house!"

**It's just too little too late **

**A little too wrong and I can't wait **

**Boy you know all the right things to say**

**You know it's just a little too late **

**You say you dream of my face but you don't like me **

**You just like the chase **

**To be real it doesn't matter anyway **

**You know it's just too little too late **

Cooper looked at Nathan, still holding the baseball bat. "What the hell? Why did you hit me?!" He asked upset.

"You hurt my fiancé! Once again, you physically hurt her! Do you have any idea how badly you hurt her before?! I won't let that happen again! Now get out before I hit you again!" He yelled. Cooper gave up and left.

Rachel ran to Nathan wrapping her arms around him. The little boy decided to join in on the hug. "Thank you Nathan. So much." She said while feeling a tear drip down her cheek.

"It's just natural. I love you, and would never let anything happen to you. After all, we're getting married." He smirked, then lightly kissed Rachel.

"Ew!" James yelled at them. The adults both laughed at him. It was cute, and they just stood there holding on to each other. Rachel just needed to know that Nathan was there to hold her.

"Are you ok?" He finally asked her. She had just been hurt again, for the first time in a year. "Like, physically. And emotionally." He reasoned.

**I can love with all of my heart baby **

**I know I have so much to give **

**(I have so much to give) **

**With a player like you I don't have a prayer **

**That's no way to live, no **

God, was she ok emotionally? She had no idea. She had realized today that she still had feelings for Cooper. But she loved Nathan. Could she really have two men in her heart? Apparently she did. But things with her and Cooper were too fucked up to ever work. And she loved Nathan. And she was engaged to Nathan. And she had James to think about. "Yeah, I'm ok. I just wanna go to sleep." It was true. JUST sleep. Take a break from all the drama. "I'll talk to tomorrow, ok?" She asked.

Nathan was worried, but he went along with it. Because it was what Rachel wanted. "Ok." He said. He watched as she walked upstairs. Little did he know, she was thinking of Cooper.

A?N: Ok, so I got kinda sloppy at the end. But that's because it really late, I'm half asleep, and I just wanted to get it done. I have so much stuff going on, expect the next chapter in about a week. If anyone can suggest a song, I'd appreciate it. Of course, I don't even know what I want the storyline for the next chapter to be yet.


	6. Sober

A/N: OMG, I'm so sorry for such the long wait

A/N: OMG, I'm so sorry for such the long wait!! Well, there have been several reasons. I've had personal stuff going on. Lots of it. And my computer broke. Then I've had MAJOR writer's block. I just got a new song thanks to my friend Bianca, so I have finally managed to update. This chapter is dedicated to ILoveJamesLafferty because without her I would have given up this story. There is a 3 month time jump in this chapter. So without further ado I give you chapter 7 of Better Than Me: Sober

--

**And I don't know**

**This could break my heart or save me**

**Nothing's real**

**Until you let go completely**

**So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving**

**So here I go with all my fears weighing on me**

It had been three months since everything with Cooper. Three months since Rachel had seen or heard from him. He was still in her mind though, and it was killing her. Nathan and Rachel still had James. Haley's tour was extended, so they had him for another three months. They loved their time with him. It made them feel more like a real family. James loved spending time with them too, but still talked to Haley on the phone everyday.

"Mommy Rachel!" James called to her from his bedroom. "Mommy Rachel I don't wanna take a bath! Can't I do it later?" The little boy begged, walking into Rachel and Nathan's room where Rachel was laying on her bed, laptop open.

"What?" Rachel asked startled. She minimized the window she had open, the window in which was her Myspace friend requests. Including one from Cooper. "No Jamie." She finally said, realizing what he was asking. "When Daddy comes home we're going out to dinner at Uncle Lucas's house. Don't you want to see Uncle Lucas?" At the sound of Lucas's name the young boy ran into the bathroom calling for Rachel as he went. As Rachel ran James's bath he asked her a question she wasn't expecting. "Mommy Rachel, why haven't you and Daddy seemed happy lately? Since the bad man was here I mean."

Rachel was completely stunned. "What do you mean?" She knew what he meant. She had been distant from Nathan in the last few months and knew it was hurting him. "Jamie, Mommy Rachel just hasn't felt the same since then. She hasn't been talking to Daddy as much as she used to because she doesn't want to burden him. But I need you to know, Mommy Rachel loves you and Daddy very much and would never do anything to hurt you. You understand that, right?"

James nodded and Rachel proceeded to give him a bath. When he was dressing himself, as he demanded she let him do, she went back into her room and looked at Cooper's Myspace page again. With a sharp inhale she clicked a button and accepted his friend request. "Done." She muttered as Nathan walked in.

**Three months and I'm still sober**

**Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers**

**But I know it's never really over**

"Ok, so what's wrong?" Peyton asked, looking from Nathan to Rachel, back to Nathan. "I know that something's been going on." James was down the hall playing with his cousin Lily.

"Nothing's wrong." Rachel mumbled, looking down. No one else knew that Cooper had come back, nor did they know what had happened with Cooper in the past. She felt something on her leg, and noticed that it was Nathan's hand. He squeezed her leg supportively, as if telling her to tell the others. She took a deep breath then looked up at her friends who were just looking out for her. "I'm sorry." She whispered quietly. "I've just been going through some personal stuff. I'll be ok. I promise." She really didn't know if she would be. She knew that she still loved Cooper and probably always would. You never truly get over your first love.

"She'll be fine." Nate agreed wrapping his arm around her tightly. "But, we have some news." In the last three months they hadn't told anyone about their engagement. They wanted to start planning for the wedding first, but they never really got around to it. However, they decided that this nice dinner would be the perfect opportunity. "We're getting married." He said smiling.

"OH MY GOD!" Peyton yelled shocked. "Congratulations!" She got up from her seat and hugged both of them.

"Thanks." Rachel muttered.

"Thanks." Nathan added, then turned to Lucas. "Luke, man, I want you to be my best man." He said with a smile. They had already decided they would ask Brooke to be the maid of honor.

"You guys know I love you, right?" Rachel asked before Lucas could reply, her voice a normal tone, more than the whisper she had been using. "Because I do. I've just been having some trouble recently. But I'll be fine." It seemed completely random to the other 3, but the timing made perfect sense to her.

**And I don't know**

**I could crash and burn but maybe**

**At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me**

**So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right**

**No comparing, second guessing, no not this time**

"Rach, are you ok?" Nathan asked. They were both relaxing in a bubble bath together. James had been asleep for hours, so they didn't need to worry about him. About half an hour after James had fallen asleep Nate ran the bath as a little surprise for Rachel to make her feel better. After her little release as soon as they got in the tub together, she did feel much better. And she realized, Nathan was the kind of guy who would do just that, do anything for the girl he loved.

"Yeah, much better now." She said turning and smiling at him. She closed her eyes relaxing as Nathan rubbed a damp wash cloth over her chest, cleaning her. "Nathan." She whispered, her smile growing. She knew they shouldn't have sex again, they just had it about an hour ago. "Nate, you're everything I need in this life." She whispered honestly. "I love you. No matter what, I'm not going to leave you…ever." She promised.

"Rach…" He said, taking a deep breath and continued. "This is hard for me to say to you Rach. Because you know that you're my life. You and Jamie are everything to me. If it wasn't for you two I would have given up a long time ago, when Haley left me. But that night I had you. And I don't want you to even think about anything like that. Rachel, you went through a major traumatic experience. That kind of a thing can scar you for life. I know you loved him Rach, but that doesn't make what he did right. In fact, it's the complete opposite. That just makes it even more wrong. I don't want you thinking that's how you should be treated, because you shouldn't, you deserve better. Rachel, I love you so much, and because I love you I think you should start seeing a therapist. I can tell that Cooper coming back has affected you, and most other people can too. Please, consider it Rach? For me and Jamie?"

Rachel just listened and took in everything that Nathan had said. "Nathan, what do you mean? When Haley left you were you going to…?" She trailed off.

"I honestly thought about it Rachel. But that day I went to see you. And you needed me. Rach, you made me feel important. You made me feel wanted, needed, and loved. Rachel please, I never want you to even think about anything like that. I need you." He told her whole-heartedly.

"If you killed yourself I would die of loneliness. If I didn't then I would kill myself too." She whispered, looking him in the eye. "Nathan Royal Scott, promise me you won't do anything like that. Ever."

Nathan pulled Rachel close to him and whispered in her ear. "Since I've been with you I haven't even thought about it. That day I thought my world had ended. I found out that it was actually the start of the best part of my life. It was the start of my life with you. Just promise me that you'll talk to someone. Please?" He almost begged.

"Ok." Rachel finally agreed. "Just for you Nathan. You have no idea how badly I need you in my life."

"I love you my beautiful fiancé." Nathan told her, lightly pressing his lips against her neck. "I love you." He repeated.

**Three months and I'm still breathing**

**Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know**

**It's never really over, no**

**Wake up**

"Daddy?! Mommy Rachel?!" Jamie cried out in the dark of night. "Daddy?! Mommy Rachel?!" He yelled again. "Da-" He started but got cut off as Nathan and Rachel ran into the room.

Nathan took one look at his crying son and knew immediately that he had had a nightmare. "Its ok Jamie, it was just a nightmare. Tell me what happened." He crouched down next to James while Rachel sat on the bed next to him wrapping her arms around him comforting him.

"The bad man went after Mommy." He whispered. "The bad Cooper man. He hurt her again. He hurt my Mommy. He hurt you Mommy." James cried, directing his last sentence to Rachel. For the first time ever, he had just called her Mommy, not Mommy Rachel.

Nathan's jaw almost dropped. "Jamie, you realize that Mommy is on tour with Chris, right? He can't hurt Mommy." Nate didn't comprehend that James was calling Rachel Mommy. He didn't know if he could believe it. Haley would kill him.

"Not that Mommy. This Mommy." James managed, still holding on to Rachel. "This is my Mommy. My important Mommy. The Mommy who's here for me and loves me most." At that he planted a kiss on Rachel's cheek. "You're not Mommy Rachel anymore, you're just Mommy."

"James, your Mommy loves you the same as Mommy Rachel loves you. Mommy isn't here because she's working, making money to buy things like food, clothes, and new toys. She's important too, and she would be here for you if she could. You know that, right?" She asked him. She loved that he called her Mommy, she adored it, but she figured Haley wouldn't like it very much.

"I know, but you're my Mommy too. You're Mommy. That's it. No more Mommy Rachel, just Mommy." He said with a smile. "Can I sleep in your bed with you?" He asked looking up at the two of them with wide eyes and an innocent face. "Please?" Without a response Nathan picked him up and carried him into their room placing him on the bed. James climbed so he was in-between Rachel and Nathan. "Nighty night Mommy and Daddy. I love you." He said before they all drifted back to sleep.

**Three months and I'm still standing here**

**Three months and I'm getting better yeah**

**Three months and I still am**

Rachel woke up the next morning to see Jamie sleeping next to her and no Nathan. When she took a closer look she saw a note on the pillow with her name on it. It said that he had some things to do and would probably be out all day so she should do some wedding stuff. Rachel instantly woke James and got ready to shop.

--

"That dress looks so pretty on you Mommy!" James exclaimed when he saw her in the 2nd wedding dress she tried on. "You should buy that dress Mommy! It looks prettier than any other dress here!"

At that point the saleswoman walked over to join in the conversation. "Your son is right. That dress looks amazing on you." She said with a smile. "And what's your name?" She asked Jamie.

"I'm James Lucas Scott, this is my mommy. Her name is Rachel Scott. My daddy's name is Nathan Scott." He explained proudly. "I know everyone's name." He decided to add.

"Jamie, my last name isn't Scott yet, you know that." She said with a small laugh. She then turned to the saleswoman. "He's not my son. He's my future step-son, but I feel like he's my own. Right Jamie?" She asked him.

"Where's Daddy?" He asked randomly.

"Your daddy can't see the wedding dress until the wedding. It's a rule. The groom can't see the bride in her dress until the wedding. Which reminds me, that dress looks very nice on you. Would you like it?" She asked Rachel.

"I think-" Rachel got cut off by a yell across the store.

"No she doesn't!" Brooke yelled. "Sorry, but this genius forgot that her best friend and maid of honor is a clothing designer. Sorry, I'm making it. For free." She stated.

"Aunty Brooke!" James yelled running into Brooke's arms.

"Hey kiddo." She said hugging him. "Hey hoe. Or…bridal hoe?" She tried. "What should I call you now?"

"Call her Mommy. That's what I call her." James said proudly, and Brooke looked stunned. She looked from James to Rachel, then back to James.

"Mommy? But I thought Haley was Mommy and this is mommy Rachel?" She asked. She never expected this to happen in Haley's absence, although it wasn't surprising. For a young child to be separated from their mother for so long and instead stay with a step-parent it only made sense that he would consider them to be his parent.

James rolled his eyes at Brooke. "No matter what Mommy and Daddy tell me, I know this Mommy loves me more than my other Mommy. Duh Aunty." He gave her an exasperated sigh.

"Jamie, why don't you go play with Mommy Rachel's phone? You can call and talk to Daddy if you want." Rachel suggested, trying to get away from the subject.

"Okay Mommy." He said taking the phone from her and wondering a few feet away.

"What the hell?!" Brooke almost yelled at Rachel. "When did this happen?!" Haley would be more than pissed, and Brooke loved Haley. She didn't want to have to choose sides, Haley or Rachel. Unfortunately, it looked like James was making it that way.

Rachel took a deep breath and started. "Last night he had a nightmare and started screaming for us. When we got to him, he told me that I was Mommy now. I tried to change his mind but I can't."

"Well lets get you out of that dress, into some normal clothes, and do some more shopping. Then we can stop back at my place and I can take your measurements for a dress." Brooke suggested. There was nothing that Brooke Davis loved more than shopping.

"Sure." Rachel agreed. "Jamie, come stay with Aunty Brooke, Mommy Rachel needs to get changed!" She called to him.

"Coming!" The little boy yelled running back to his future step-mother and her best friend.

**Three months and it's still harder now**

**Three months I've been living here without you now**

**Three months yeah**

**Three months I hurt**

"This is so cute Rach, you have to get this! Look, it can even be your something blue!" Brooke exclaimed holding up a baby blue G-string that said 'Ride the Bride.' "Rach, I swear you need it. Nate will love it." She suggested.

"You don't need to try so hard to convince me, I already decided I'm getting it." Rachel stated, grabbing the panties out of Brooke's hand. "And in response to your last comment, no. Nathan will love it when its off me." She said with a small smirk, making sure that Jamie didn't hear her.

"Rachel Gatina, you naughty girl!" Brooke gasped, playfully slapping her on the arm. "Not like I can say much better for myself though." Brooke decided. While looking through some more of the tacky, cheesy wedding section at Target, Brooke was figuring out a way to bring up a tough topic. "So, um, I was thinking of asking out a new guy…" Brooke said trailing off.

"Who?" Rachel demanded, immediately being drawn to gossip. "Brooke Penelope Davis if you do not tell me who in the next three seconds, God help you!" She almost yelled, seeing the look of hesitation on Brooke's face.

"Its Mouth, ok?" Brooke finally admitted. "I'm sorry, but he's so sweet and just, always there for me. I know that you have dibs on him since he's like, in love with you. I swear, if you don't want me to I won't say anything to him…" Brooke trailed off.

Rachel was completely offended. "I can't believe you're saying this." She accused Brooke, her voice sounding very pissed. "Brooke, I'm with Nathan. Do you really think I'd be that selfish to sacrifice your happiness and Mouth's when I'm already engaged?!" Other than Nathan and James, Brooke meant everything to Rachel. She would never do anything to stop her from being happy. "Ask him out for God's sake, just don't tell me about the sex, those details I don't wanna know!"

"But you told me about that time between you and Nathan in the hot tub! I didn't want to hear that!" Brooke defended herself, glad the topic had changed. Almost as glad as she was that she had permission to ask out Mouth.

"But that was different. That was our first time together. And besides, I was proving that I had my claws into him; both literally and figuratively. Basically calling dibs on him. And comparing. I mean, you've slept with him before, you know how amazing he is." She looked up into space somewhat zoning out and remembering that first time together.

"I was too wasted to remember though." Brooke pointed out. "Hey, what are you guys doing about school?" Brooke suddenly asked. "I mean, college is starting in, wow, about a month." She said shocking herself. "What are you gonna do about the engagement and the James thing, and the college life thing, and…well, everything?" Brooke rattled off.

"We're staying at home. Nate is going to school, but I'm taking a year off. I'm gonna try my hand at some more modeling. Nate offered to move to New York and choose a school up there, but I'm not letting him. I'll make some weekend trips to New York for the modeling, but I'm not leaving Tree Hill. Its home." She decided that last sentence right as she said it. And it was her home, more so than anyplace else she had ever lived.

"Mommy, what's college?" Jamie asked.

"Baby, college is like school for people Mommy Rachel's and Daddy's age." She explained to him, trying to get him to stop calling her Mommy. At that moment she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. The caller id said it was Nathan. "Hang on sweety." She told James, then walked a few feet away with the phone. "Hey sexy." She greeted her fiancé.

On the other end of the line Nathan swallowed the huge lump in his throat. "Where are you?" He managed.

"Out shopping with Brooke and Jamie…why? What's wrong?" She could tell by the tone of his voice that something was off.

"Get home now. Haley's here…and we have a problem." He told her carefully.

"I'll be right there." She said quickly, snapping her phone closed. She picked up James and turned to Brooke. "Some sort of emergency. And H-A-L-E-Y is home." She said spelling it out so James didn't understand. "I've gotta get home like, now." Brooke nodded and Rachel practically ran home, carrying James in her arms the entire way.

**Three months and I'm still breathing**

**Three months and I still remember it**

**Three months and I wake up**

When she got to the front door Rachel put James down then walked inside. She saw Nathan sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. "Baby, what is it?" She asked him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Its him. He's…he's sick Rach." He decided to say. He took a deep breath and continued. "Hhe's completely wasted in the middle of the afternoon, and I'm pretty sure I know what those marks on his arms are too. Rach, we can't let him go back to him. Its not safe. He's safe here…I mean, you're not that bad." Nate knew that Rachel smoked pot, but didn't know what else she did. And that seemed best for now because if he knew he probably wouldn't let her anywhere Jamie. But now Chris Kellar was just plain horrible for a little boy to be around, and Nate couldn't get past that.

"So you wanna fight for custody?" She asked him. She would love to have James as her full-time son instead of just part-time.

"Where's my son?" Chris asked, storming into the living room from where she was in the kitchen. "I wanna see my son!"

"Hi Daddy Chris." Jamie said timidly from behind Rachel. "I got to go out shopping with Mommy and Brooke." He said with a small smile, trying to make him smile too.

"What the fuck?!" Chris yelled, fueled by the drugs pumping through his system. James you are coming home with your father right now because I'M YOUR FATHER!" He shouted the last part, causing the little boy to flinch and start crying.

Rachel comforted Jamie while Nathan turned to Chris. "No you're not, I'm his father. Get your ass home alone. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. Besides, Haley's not even home. She's too busy obsessing over her pregnancy. No way I'm sending him home with you. Get out." Nathan insisted, and Chris left without a fight. "Are you ok buddy?" Nathan asked James.

"Yeah Daddy." James managed. Can me, you, and Mommy go out? I wanna see a movie." He decided.

"How about we watch a movie here?" Rachel suggested. "We can watch Cars." She said, suggesting his favorite movie.

"YAY!" James decided that watching a movie at home was best. Rachel turned on the movie and sat down with her two favorite men to watch the movie.

After about 15 minutes she had other, better activities on her mind. "I'll be right back." She said getting off the couch and walking into the bathroom. After seeing Chris that high, as any stoner would know he was, Rachel needed some of what Chris had. She went into a box of tampons, the only place she knew Nathan wouldn't look, and took out a needle. She soon felt the heroin pumping through her veins, and it felt amazing. She had started using it after seeing Cooper again. She knew she shouldn't, but she didn't know what else to do.

**Three months and I'm still sober**

**Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers**

It took awhile for Rachel's high to ware off, but when it did she went to find Nathan. She made a vow to herself to never be around him or Jamie while she was high. When she returned Nathan was making food. "Have a good smoke?" He asked her.

_Oh God, he thought I was smoking pot! Play it off, he's fine with that…_ "Yeah well after seeing Chris that high I was kinda craving something. You know what I mean?" It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. She made him think that she was just smoking pot when she knew it was a blatant lie.

"That's ok Rach. I just never wanna see you as strung out as that dick was today." He said, his hands balling up into fists. "Was he high or drunk? I'm not sure, and I figured you could tell since you get high and all…" He trailed off, trying not to offend her.

Without a second thought Rachel blurted out "He was definitely fucked up. And you can't get that fucked from drinking. He was high." Noticing Nathan's tense position she decided to change the subject. "So what's this you said about Haley being pregnant?"

"She called me from the road. She's pregnant. And obsessed with the pregnancy. She barely does anything other than talk about the baby. She's been planning the room, buying clothes already, picking out names. It's a baby girl." He told Rach. "And the last time she called she didn't even say one thing about Jamie. Not asked how he was, asked for me to tell him she says hi and she loves him, asked to talk to him, nothing. It'll be bad if he has to go back there Rach." He told her quietly, wrapping one arm around her. "On one side he has Chris, now a druggy. Then he has Haley who is so obsessed with the new baby that she would end up neglecting him."

"What do you wanna do?" Rachel asked Nathan, hearing that James was in his room watching Toy Story. Cars had ended a long time ago, while she had still been high.

Nate took a deep breath and looked Rachel in the eye. "I want to fight for full custody of him. And Rachel, if its all right with you, and after we get married, I want you to adopt him. I want to terminate all of their parental rights."

--

A/N: ITS BAAAAAAAAAACK!! Yes, I FINALLY updated!! & Its my longest chapter yet! I told you it would be worth the wait! Alright, so I have plans for the next chapter and a song for it already. So, hoping I don't have to deal with a shit-load of homework over our vacation next week (YAY!) and that I don't have too many personal issues coming up (like boys & the facts tht one of my bff's will be out of state staying with her coke-head mom…GRR Manda, Don't Go!...) It should prolly be up sometime next week!! YAY!! I love you all for reviewing, faveing, & alerting. Like OTH at first, don't give up on me, bc it'll give me the motivation to keep going! And EVERYONE who likes this story should thank ILoveJamesLafferty because without her, there would be no update. So now go hit tht little button & REVIEW!!


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